So you think Thailand is patriarchal? Try Japan

I've got to talk with a Japanese friend of mine today and asked her what makes some Japanese girls like Western guys this much.

Of course, not all Japanese girls like Westerners. But my friend said the ones who like foreigners are really crazy about them.

"Why?" I asked.

She said those girls think that Western guys are good-looking.

"Well, not all of them are." I said.

My friend said it's true but Japanese girls who like Western guys can't tell the differences between the good and bad looking ones.

"What?"

How can you not?

She said there's this friend of hers who is really picky when it comes to Japanese guys, but is not picky at all when it comes to Western guys. As long as it's Westerners, it's fine! It can be anyone!

Hooray! Congratulations. I'm so jealous! The Western guys who are unwanted by girls back in their home countries might as well immigrate to Japan right now :)

And she told me that those girls think Western guys are more...やさしい (kind?)

What? Really? This is the second time I've been told about this "concept." I first heard about it in 国際関係論 class from Akiyama Sensei and wasn't sure whether I heard it right. Where did they originally get this idea from?

Personally, the word "kind" is not the first generalizing term I'd come up with when I think about Westerners. In contrast, I tend to perceive that Asians, in general, are more kind. So it took me by surprise when I heard about this idea perceived by some Japanese girls in Japan.

Anyway, the conversation digressed from that topic. I asked my friend again whether it is normal for Japanese girls to ask guys out because I've heard before that it is.

My friend said it's totally normal. Actually, girls tend to be the ones asking guys out in Japan.

"What?"

Simple enough, it's the other way around in Thailand.

OK, I have one more question. I asked my friend whether it is normal here when girls and guys going on dates and they split the bill when they pay. I've heard that it is custom to do so in Japan.

She said it's totally fine. Very normal. If the guys are older, they're supposed to pay. But if they are both students, normally they split the bills.

"What?"

It's a little weird to me. Well, it doesn't mean that I expect the guys to be the ones who pay all the time. But in Thailand, normally I'd say the guys would offer to pay in most cases. Especially on first dates. After that I guess it depends on the couples. It can be alternating between the two, though I'd still say the guys usually pay more. I don't often see couples in Thailand split the bills when they pay as much. Splitting the bills if you are couples in Thailand are viewed to be quite awkward.

The conversation today just made me think of some of my Thai friends who think (and sometimes complain) that Thailand is patriarchal. Not that I'm saying that it's not. It is. But I guess you would never understand the full concept of "patriarchy" until you're in Japan. Here pushes the connotation of the word to a whole new level to me.