Reminiscence

Last day in Japan. In front of the house saying good-bye to everyone.

I turned left to face him. He had some indescribable expressions on his face. I had never seen him this way before. It was a mixture of frustration and confusion and something else I couldn't really describe.

I stared at him. He stared back. He looked as if he was unsure about what to do next.

Finally, I said "Give me a hug"

He did. He held me so tight that I thought I couldn't breathe, and I knew very well what it meant - a good-bye hug. He said something and something but the only sentence I could register to my mind was

"I love you"

Well, according to my personal experience, Westerners say these 3 words without meaning all the time, but at that moment I felt what he said was real.

I wasn't sure if I said anything even though there were so many things I needed to say, because I felt so overwhelmed at the moment that I couldn't make a sound.

Then, he kissed me on the cheek and let me go.

And I started going around and hugging everyone. I couldn't help but started crying. Hard.

Until it was really time to leave.

My friend and I got on a cab, and I looked at everyone through tears for the last time.

The cab pulled out of the driveway, and I couldn't stop crying all the way to the airport or even when I was on a plane. My friend said she's never seen me with this sad expression on my face before.

Everything was almost like a blur. That day was surreal.

I felt as if I've lost a great friend I just discovered. Yes, I can always come back to Japan to meet all the wonderful Japanese people. But with him, it's different, because he's not Japanese. Who knows how long he's going to be in Japan? Actually, this might have been the only chance in my life I got to see him.

It was amazing that we've known each other only for a month, and we really started talking only 2 or 3 weeks before my departure, because somehow I felt it was much, much longer than that. It was unbelievable thinking back the first time we met and he asked "Can you speak English?" (which I reminded him later and he was like "God, did I really ask that?" haha) to the conversation we had on the last night before I left.

I've never met anyone in Thailand who's like him. We've got to talk and discuss about lots of things I've never discussed with anyone in Thailand. I learned a lot from his perspectives about life and his conversations always made me contemplate which was a good thing. Besides that, when he wasn't into some serious conversations, he was, though getting on my nerves at times, really a fun person to hang out with.

It was amazing. Truly amazing.

He told me once that he believed meeting some people can affect our lives in one way or the other. He did that to me. He really did.

Thank you for the good times and memories we had shared, no matter how short it was, my dear friend and brother. I'll never forget you.