This is what I looked like today...
I know, I'm so boring. But it's all about formality when you go in for an interview with a Japanese company, so I decided to wear a suit, the most impractical garment ever in all year round hot and humid Thailand.
To be honest, this is how I feel...
Confused. If you can't tell what expression it is, I think it's probably confusion. Didn't I make you confused by my confusing expression!?
The second round interview was alright. Once again, I had a video conference with another Japanese manager, but he wasn't as nice as the previous one. The recruitment agency had forwarded me the document about the job description and I asked the interviewer to clarify it, but he was like "So you don't understand what you are supposed to do in this job?" And I was like, no, it's just that the job title in English I read before and Japanese I just received in the document are different, and I just wanted to know about those differences! (Oh my...)
I got asked about the expected salary too. Oh no, I hate this question! I asked him back like "So what salary do you think would be good for a new graduate?" But he really made me say the number and in the end I had to. And now I regret that maybe I said it too low. And I feel stupid for feeling regret because obviously I couldn't go back and change anything so why bother crying over the spilt milk!?
The reason that I regretted that the expected salary I said might have been too low because later I've found out that the company has only THREE people! And you know, working in a small company might have advantages, but at the same time they can't provide other benefits to employees like the big companies do, so I guess you could expect higher salary when you work in a small company since there is probably no fixed system about promotion. And...I don't know, but...3 people!? Can that even be called a "company"? Do I really want to work in a "company" with 3 people!? The company is a big one in Japan though, with hundreds of employees plus their own building, but Thailand seems to be a very tiny branch of the company.
After the interview, the interviewer from Japan had the Japanese lady in the office explained the job for me. She was really, really nice, and explained everything in great details! She said she's been working here for 4 years now. After that, I was tested a bit of Japanese writing and reading. It was okay, except I was really struggling with some Katakana words while I was reading...
We'll see if I get the job or not, but to be honest I'm not too serious about it. If I don't get this one, I'm sure I'll find something else and call this interview process as my first job interview experience. Nothing to lose, right? :-)
I've been reading this book, and this is the first how-to book I've ever read. I used to think self-help books are kinda stupid...but then again I've heard of Dale Carnegie for a while. My father wanted me to read his book "How to win friends and influence people" since I was like 15 (In Thai back then. I couldn't read the whole English book yet when I was in middle school :P) because he said it really is a great book, but I never paid attention and didn't get round to reading it. I saw "How to stop worrying and start living" in a second hand bookshop I went with Neven 2 months ago, started reading it a bit, and thought I wanted to try and read it. It turned out to be really good! I mean it's all obvious and pretty straightforward stuff, but I guess sometimes people want someone to remind them how to stop worrying, even though it's really obvious. Lately I've been worrying way too much about so many things, and I really don't like it, so I think this book might be able to help me a bit. Now I even want to summarize each chapter and write it down so that I can read it easily whenever I start to feel worried about something (I know...I'm a nerd :-/)
One thing about the book though, Dale Carnegie mentioned too much about God, which is something I can't relate :-/ Like, "Take the time to think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life" and I would think "WHY!?!? Seriously, I can think about perspective in my life by myself." Or like "Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day, and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?" and I would think "Ok, this story really means nothing at all to me..." There was one chapter I really had to skip reading because he kept talking about faith in God and prayers etc. Even though he tried to convince how beneficial prayers are and how they can conquer worries in our life, that was really too much for me. But other than that I try to tell myself to focus on the messages he's trying to tell us, because they are all good messages, no matter where he may have quoted it from.
I told my best friend that I feel really lost about what to do in life, and she said I need to learn how to let go and how to take a break. I shouldn't keep carrying everything with me all the time. She's so right...even when I was in university I kept putting pressure on myself when no one did that to me. Over the past 4.5 years, a year in Japan was definitely the only year I felt really relaxed and enjoyed my life. Neven always says if you constantly feel stressed out, then definitely there's something wrong with your life and it needs to be changed. I think being stressed out is unavoidable though, at some periods in our life everyone is stressed out, but I agree that it shouldn't be a permanent part of anyone's life. Maybe I lived it wrong, maybe I shouldn't have taken things that seriously in university, maybe, maybe, thousands of maybes...but AGAIN I can't go back and change anything so why bother crying over the spilt milk!? All I can do is, if I'm sure that wasn't the kind of life I enjoyed, I can change it in the future because I've learned lesson from the past!
Lots of self-reflection lately, I'm afraid. But it's probably what I need. To think, but not think too much. And to think in a more positive way, too!
Last but not least, I really hope we'll be ok with the flood. Most people said Bangkok probably won't be able to avoid it :-(
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