I had a sudden urge to write my blog after I finished reading this, though I don't think my writing will be improved or anything by writing about myself and my life in my blog.
It's been kinda quiet and boring around here lately.
Or probably not, because our country is full of action at the moment, if you think about the flood that has been attacking Thailand for months and now it started to inundate some parts of Bangkok, and even creep closer and closer to central Bangkok where I live.
Not a single day goes by without hearing the word "flood" and to be honest I'm really sick of it. I'm trying not to be too panicked like some people, but when you absorb the news on TV, Twitter, and Facebook day after day for several weeks, your subconscious can't help but tend to scream the word "flood" all the time even though when you try not to think about it.
When I say quiet, I mean my life now. I feel like going out and doing something more. But some friends are busy moving stuff to prepare for the flood, or some whose houses have been flooded are evacuating etc. It doesn't feel like many people are in the mood of going out when the whole country is facing a disaster like this, so it kinda sucks.
Have I mentioned that I've been translating the photographic documentary book from Thai to English as a part-time job? I was doing that for weeks but now I finished one part, though the entire work needs to be postponed for a while because the Royal Barge Procession ceremony that I was translating on had postponed because of the flood. (and now I wonder if I'll ever get paid...)
The good news is, I've (finally) started studying JLPT! I failed N1 last time and, after debating back and forth whether to go for level 1 or 2, applied for N1 again in December. Once again though, I don't think I'll pass, but studying JLPT surely is a good way to review my Japanese, so I'll try to make myself study when I can. I'll need to buy some flash cards for studying vocab and hope they'll help me memorize better.
I'm thinking if I don't hear anything back from the Japanese company I went for an interview in a couple of days, I'll go ask other recruitment agencies to help find the job for me. Surprisingly, there are a lot of recruitment agencies here who have contacts for Japanese speaking jobs. It's probably faster than trying to look for the job on the internet, which I've been doing for weeks now, but none of it really caught my interest.
You know what, the more I think about it, the more I feel sure that I'm kinda sick of living in Thailand. Everything here is just...so boring and I really, really need something different. Like I had said before, Thailand is (probably) a great country and Thai food will always be my favorite, but I don't really like Thailand anymore. I had written about this shortly before I left Japan but had hoped that maybe I'll gradually accept the way things are when I returned to my country, but I don't really. Most things are really fucked up here (excuse my language) and the "Thainess" of people can drive me crazy at times. I've been thinking ways of living in another country, but I'm really, really not sure how... in fact I'm not even sure where exactly I want to live. It's not that Asians, or Thais are generously welcomed by other countries to live there permanently and I don't want to end up working as a waitress in a Thai restaurant or something like that, you know?
But then again they said it shouldn't matter where you live if you feel happy from within and stuff like that, so I'm trying to change my attitude if I can't change where I live. Sometimes I can't shake the thought "What if Thailand really is not for me? Then what the hell am I doing here even though I'm not happy with it?" out of my mind though.
Or I just need to find some things to do. Anything that will engage my time. Anything fun that I like. So I won't have time to think too much.
But what is it, then?
P.S. Another post to support that worrying is a waste of time!
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