Love letter

I just finished writing a love letter today...in Japanese...involuntarily because it's my assignment!

Pretty funny. I don't know what Nakayama was thinking by making us describe our personalities to the person we secretly like but are too afraid to say the word "I like you". By the way, Japanese don't normally say I love you. Almost never. Usually they just say "suki" (like) instead of "aishiteru" (love). Too unromantic, don't you think?

I had fun writing my fake love letter though because the entire letter was fulled of made-up shit lol. Seriously, if what was written was real, all guys on the planet would freak out and would never wish to see me again.

Actually, when Nakayama assigned the work for us, I thought it was so stupid and turned to ask my friends "who the hell wrote love letter anymore?"

Guess what? when I got home that evening, and was trying to search something in my drawer. What I found was a piece of paper I couldn't remember what it was at first. But when I opened it, it was........(This is serious. No edit. No making up. It happened that exact evening).

A love letter.

Written by me 3 years ago.

It was a draft, though. I already sent the real one to him.

So I started reading it. When I was finished, I thought I would feel nauseous or I could come up with some sarcastic remarks about "my passionate love" or I would laugh at myself or I would feel stupid for writing such thing long time ago.

No, I didn't feel or do any of those.

The only thing I felt was pure sadness.

Sad because I knew once opon a time what I was written, every single word of it, was real. Sad because it had brought back many memories from the past, and many of them were the happiest time in my entire life. Once upon a time I would listen to the song "How do I live without you" and felt I could cry (Don't roll your eyes, people DO fall in love!). And I wanted to ask God...no probably not since I don't believe in God, I wanted to ask whatever it was that did the whole thing to us, that left us no choice but to end things.

It would have worked out, only under one condition.

Unfortunately, the condition was too big, immensely huge even, for both of us to sacrifice.

It's really sad. Something I'm sure I'll never forget.

Even though we are almost strangers now.

So I folded that piece of paper and kept it where it was. I know I probably should have thrown it away, but I couldn't.

Life is not like The Notebook, you know.