Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary

I had a great talk with my dad and brother yesterday - some bonding moments in our family I guess lol.

One thing left that got me thinking was only one question from dad.

He asked what I plan to study next.

Urgh!

No, he doesn't mean to pressure me. I'm glad I have some little liberation of my own and my parents always support me no matter what I choose. In spite of being Chinese, both of my parents treat daughter and son very equally. They try to give my brother and me an equal chance of almost everything.

Dad just said I need to figure out what I "like", and he wanna make sure I'm happy with my choice.

But that is the problem "What do I like?" "What is my passion?" "What can I do for my living?"

The main reason I want to pursue Master's degree because Thai society demands it. Seriously, that's IT. We all know nowadays Bachelor's degree is only slightly better than high-school graduate and it's not enough to satisfy degree-hungers around here.

Ridiculous, I know. This system is making me feel I'm turning to a pretentious know-it-all graduate who seriously knows nothing about the world but keeps talking, talking, and talking, and only carries an arrogant attitude with no practical work skills.

(Shit, or am I being one already?)

Well, I'd rather think I'm NOT. I'm scared like hell about "the world" I'm just...a baby!

So, what do I want to continue studying?

First, I consider MBA. The only reason I'm considering this choice is because everyone studies MBA. Yeah, I know, it's a pathetic reason.

BUT come to think of it again, MBA doesn't fit my personality at all. A chicken like me doing business? Do I know a thing about business? Do I hold an interest in business? Just thinking about it makes me wanna laugh at myself.

Next option, I consider Law.

This makes much more sense to me. I was really hesitating between law and languages when I had to make a decision about my studying. I chose Japanese over law, but I did take Introduction to Law class at Faculty of Law out of curiosity last year because it kept nagging me to not know whether I like law or not.

I did. It was awesome. I got to combine my language skills to law and I had no problem with that (Please don't judge my writing from my poor English, I can write much better in my native language).

Studying law makes me feel smarter. It wasn't easy at all, but it was challenging and very logical. I felt I could gain victory just by using some tricks of words. Very cool.

Criminal law was really fun, but I think if I really have to choose what to study, most likely I'll end up with business law.

The problem is, how am I going to continue my Master's in law when I have no Bachelor's degree in law?

OK, so there's a special Bachelor of Law program at Chula that allows students to finish degree in 3 years, but if I study that for 3 years, then add Master's for 2 more years, God, is this ever going to END? What am I trying to do, keep studying all my life with no work, or what? I'm not some multimillionaire's daughter who can spend her daddy's money doing whatever she wants to do and float around with no responsibilities!

Besides, is law really practical in Thailand? Honestly, I would take a leap right now if I lived in The States.

But...Thailand? I mean, do we know what law is? I don't think we do. If we do, we break it anyway.

未来っては難しいなぁー

どうすればいいのっていつも考えていて、何度も考えだせないよ。

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