I went to the airport to see him off. It was the same process, just like what I was going through about a week ago. While we were walking and heading toward the security check area, I seriously felt a sharp pang in my chest when I was thinking about what was coming next. It was bad. We hugged. I was crying. What I didn't expect was...he was crying, too. He said at one point through tears 辛かったね (this is tough). Normally he is not the kind of guy who expresses a lot of emotions, which is why it was taken me by surprise.
To be honest, today was harder than I had expected. But I guess a part of it was the fact that we saw each other every single day on campus because we had almost all the classes together. Actually I was in every single one of his classes. Then after classes we came back to the dorm and hung out/had dinner together etc. So it was really weird NOT seeing him anymore. I actually missed having him around when he was gone to Okinawa trip for about 2 weeks. But we were texting and keeping each other posted about what we were doing for most of the time, so that was ok.
But not anymore. I can't text him or call him anymore. England is too far away, much too far away.
I came back to dorm around 10 this morning and went straight to bed because we went to Karaoke until 3 last night and had to leave to airport around 5.30 so we didn't get to sleep. Karaoke was fun though! I really enjoyed it. I couldn't sleep well when I tried to sleep this afternoon.
I still spent some time during the day crying at some random moment. I looked at the cell phone charm he bought for me from Okinawa and felt sad. I looked at the hat he left with me and felt sad. I looked at the cell phone box he left with me and felt sad.
Some of his stuff is here, but he himself is not here anymore.
Ah, typical stuff that I was going through about a week ago...Same thing repeated itself again...
I'm listening to this song 沖縄ミ・アモール now and thinking of him :( He just introduced this song to me a few days ago after he got back from Okinawa trip...
He's been a good friend. I'm very fortunate to have met 2 awesome best friends in Japan. Now I just feel...sad. Both of them left and I felt like I have no one here, even though I'm still surrounded by other friends. But I don't have close friends who I can just talk to about anything anymore :(
One friend encouraged me that I will be fine. When I first came here, I didn't know anyone and I managed through it. I know I will be fine. It's just a little hard at this moment. But I'll be ok eventually. I'm very sure.
I'm just emotionally weak now. But I'll get through it.
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