My oh my Hokkaido

I got back from Hokkaido trip last Wednesday. It surely was the trip that I'll never forget for the rest of my life. Not because of all the "awesomeness" (though I must admit it's a pretty awesome place) but because of all the "dramas" that came along during the trip. I felt, excuse my language, fucked up almost the whole trip. Too many tears, too many emotions, too much hurt, too many "scenes" that I did not want to see. Mainly I'd say it's just a big mess that I created in my own head and felt it too deeply and strongly that made me feel depressed.

It was tough when you felt THAT much and did not know how to stop or cope with it. I felt I was trapped in the trip and could not run away anywhere. Often I secretly wish I could just get away and fly back to Nagoya because I did not want to see some certain thing anymore.

But other than that, I really like Hokkaido. The weather was cool and amazing. It was like 20 something degrees for summer; such a big contrast for the unbearable heat and humidity in Nagoya these days. Sapporo was such a lovely city filled with fresh air, even though there wasn't much you could do in the city. I really loved "Nakafurano", a tiny town surrounded by mountains and beautiful scenery that we spent 2 nights at (even though that was where all "dramas" happened *sigh*) I went hiking on a *volcano* for the first time in this trip and then went to Onsen (hot spring) afterwards which was super duper awesome :) I really fall in love with Japanese Onsen. Plus Hokkaido people were just way too nice, friendly, and extremely helpful. We've met too many nice and helpful people during the trip and I was really impressed by that.

Like I mentioned earlier that I really felt like shit for almost the whole trip, fortunately I felt better when I got back to Nagoya. I guess it's because I can "avoid" seeing things that I didn't wanna see and have more time to spend with other people, not just get stuck with some certain people. I hope I'll only get better and better. I'm so tired of crying and mood swings. Most of all, I don't wanna be depressed anymore. I just wanna be happy.

This week is gonna be last week that I'll get to spend with many friends here. Too many people are leaving :( Actually it's like there are people leaving every single day next week :( One of my best friends here are leaving on Sunday, so I'm trying to make the best of the time we have left together and trying to get rid of my stupid, ridiculous feelings as much as I possibly can. I really don't wanna look back and regret. I honestly don't.

I went to get a haircut and a perm yesterday. It was my first time going to a Japanese hair salon and it surely was an awesome experience! They took care of customers too well and treated me like I'm a little queen. It totally blew my mind and made me feel soooo pampered! It was incredibly expensive though, I paid about 7,200 yen for a haircut and a perm. Actually, this is not too bad for Japan because normally a haircut and a perm could go up to 10,000 yen (approx 3,700 Baht) or more.

Guess I'll focus on what I can do, emotion-wise. Need to remind myself that I need to be happy. And I will be happy.