Going to see New Year's Eve on New Year's Eve! Hope the movie is good, or at least not bad. Then I plan to have dinner with my best friend, whom I haven't seen her for about 2-3 weeks now. We have a lot to catch up! But other than that I don't have a party to go to or a night out with people to celebrate on New Year's Eve. Am I weird? Anti-social? Friend-less? Boring? It was never boring when I lived in Japan, but when I'm back in my home country, it really is boring and funny (and sad..) to think that I probably don't have that many friends to go hang out with.
Read message from Neven this morning, then I went back to bed (over)thinking and crying. It's been a week, a whole week, we haven't got to talk to each other. I go to bed earlier because I have to get up early, so maybe that's why. But the last couple of days he said we'd get to talk, but in the end we never did. He doesn't like to write, so he never really explained anything, and wrote just a really short message. I'm just really sick and tired of waiting, crying, and feeling that I'm not important enough. And now I'm upset and mad, so when I read his message saying sorry, I didn't want to reply back anymore.
It's time like this when I start to wonder why I'm still holding on. It's ... too much. Often a thought crossed my mind that maybe I should end it. But then I thought about how nice it is when I get to talk to him and I couldn't do it. But still ... I wonder if he has ever thought about it too.
Depressing last day of the year post, isn't it?
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