It's 0C in Nagoya tonight. Late night walk was awesome. I went on a walk a lot last semester but haven't done at all this semester. I've forgotten how good it feels! A walk with someone while talking, discussing, and sharing ideas about many different things in our lives, with a cool, fresh air. It's simply amazing.
After today's walk, I just had this idea to talk about Western and Thai men in general. I'm going to write from my own experience, mostly from people I've met.
My Thai girlfriends always say jokingly (or not so jokingly) that I'm the kind of girl who prefers Western over Thai men. I've never admitted it. Today was the first time I've thought that they may be right. And I've also come up with explanations behind this thought.
It's not because of their "blond hair and blue eyes" and "oh-so-hot look." For one thing I'm pretty sure, I'm not the kind of girl who is eager to catch any Western guys or throw herself to any Westerners like some Japanese girls around here. In fact, I really, really hate to be categorized into those types of girls, which is why I've been denying that I have no preferences, either Western or Thai men.
So here is my thought about the issue.
Ever since I came to study in Nagoya, I've met and talked with quite a few Western guys, both Americans and Europeans. They are all university students like me, about my age. Some of them have been my really good friends. We've got chances to talk and discuss about many things, and so many times I've thought "Wow, they are awesome." "They have many insights and interesting viewpoints on things and life" "I'm so glad I've got to talk with them because it has broaden my viewpoints too" "Wow, I've never thought you could look at things this way. This is cool." etc. Several, several times.
I've never felt this way with any Thai guy.
Ever.
Okay, maybe that's not exactly true. Of course, there are smart and talented Thai guys that I've met a few. Most of them have interesting insights and ideas to say on things too. But what I feel that they, Western and Thai men, are really different is the way they treat and respond to my opinions.
A lot of smart Thai guys feel the need that they have to be The Leader. They are The Man. They are The Talker. You girl just follow what I say. I've got the feeling that they may act like they listen to me, but in the end they believe themselves the most. Sometimes, because they are smart, when I don't know some thing, they would be horrified. They would teach me. Give me lectures. I don't think my opinions mean much to them anyhow. They just treat me like I am inferior, someone who is inexperienced and doesn't know much and needs to be told about many things. And God knows how much I hate to feel inferior.
The Western friends I've met are really different. They have a lot of interesting, wonderful ideas and things to share, but when I talk about my points of view, I have a feeling that they actually listen to me and they treat me as equal. I feel that they value my opinions. They take time to think about what I say. When I don't know about something, they don't act like it's the end of the world. They just explain. As simple as that. And our conversations continue.
I like this mutual respect. I love the fact that both sides listen to each other. I feel that I am treated equally and I don't feel inferior, even though I feel that a lot of my Western friends have done a lot more amazing things than me.
It's something that I've never felt when I'm discussing with Thai guys. The smart ones. What about other guys, you ask? If they are my age, and they are not that smart, I've never had any discussions with any of them ever. I can't help but feel that it'd be a waste of time if I do. This may sound too harsh and pretentious, but they are like...babies.
So yeah, if you say I prefer Western than Thai men, here is my answer. Maybe I'm lucky that I've met a lot of nice Western men this year. I'm fully aware not all of them are like this. Like I said, I'm only speaking from my experience this year in Japan. Anyhow, I'd like to say the same that I have no preferences still. If I could find a Thai man who can strike up smart conversations and discussions while treating and valuing my opinions as equal, it's totally cool.
It's a shame that a smart, talented Thai guy always, always comes in a big, whole package, securely sealed and labelled as "Ego"
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